ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVES ON SEX AND SEXUALITY

ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVES ON SEX AND SEXUALITY

In general, it is very natural to be slightly embarrassed or uncomfortable in the face of this issue but we have to admit that sex is a natural part of our existence as well as one of our five main instincts.

Since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for each other, like a garment that protects and covers, the sexual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs.

The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband.

Any negative representation of man's basic nature as a source of evil and wickedness is not implied in the Quranic philosophy, then, one may as well ask two more questions:

Firstly, what can be the particular circumstances or specific causes, which lead human beings toward becoming wicked and corrupt?

Secondly, how can the depraved and corrupt be rendered harmless and brought back to the righteous path of sanity and moderation?

Answers to the above questions require a comprehensive and positive understanding of the relevant Quranic teachings. For, they lie beyond any wrong and narrow-minded interpretations, such as arising from any literally isolated or absolute or negative understanding of the Quranic description of human self as commander of evil. Actually, according to the Holy Quran, the self can be not only a commander of evil, but also a conscientious reprover. Elsewhere, the Quran refers to the self also as an abode of human peace and excellence.

The Holy Quran significantly reveals and pinpoints various aspects of human personality development. Identification of the negative tendencies of human nature is meant for emphasizing the positive aspects that can lead to an excellent flowering of human personality.

       This distinction is important, in that human beings are made aware of their predominantly raw instinctiveness which, unless refined and trained, is naturally forceful enough to overwhelm any humanely cultivated qualities, conducive to spiritual enhancement. This seems to be an aspect yet to be fully identified by modern psychologists.

With regard to suppressing human prohibited requirements, Islam does not envisage them in any way. This is true for other instincts, too. Then, what is meant by suppression of a desire? Does it mean elimination of causes leading to it?

In the Islamic context, it signifies effective and moderate coping with the human concupiscence. This is emphasized also in many scholarly explanations of Islamic morality. Islam teaches human beings to overcome the natural predisposition of the bodily sensuality to rule over any sensibility of the mind. In other words, an individual must not be led by his natural instincts, but manage the same in a wholesome manner. As mentioned earlier, Islam does not preach any ascetic suppression of concupiscence or natural desires.

To elaborate on the above point, it may be noted that, when a person is commanded by his instincts, he or she evidences a disorderly manifestation of human physiology, a disruptive and overwhelming influence capable of affecting human conscience. Not allowing instincts to sway one's conscience necessarily implies pacifying and quenching the natural outpourings of carnal desire, or offsetting the palpability to temptation, emotional disorders or even sexual promiscuity.

On the other hand, what is required, is it to eliminate the internal causes and tendencies? This is necessary to avoid malignant development of the libido. Vulnerability to any undesirable external influences is also overcome in the process. A wholesome development of human instincts is a process requiring either a salutary compliance or a moral inhibition of their negative upsurge depending on their nature and content.

Incidentally, it is notable that the phrase: killing the carnal desire, does not occur in any specific teaching of Islam. Any reference to it is only by way of explaining the need for a salubrious growth of personality.

Towards satisfying natural instincts and desires, any one-sided approach entails shortcomings, which are not often removable subsequently Since the last century, sex-oriented psychological research achievements concentrated on proving that suppression of the natural instincts and desires was fraught with many adverse consequences to individuals. For one thing, traditional thinking to the effect that the more the basic instincts are suppressed the greater the scope for enhancing the higher faculties (such as the intellectual) has become valid. There is growing realization that extraordinary and far-reaching consequences, affecting individuals and their society both, underlie suppressed or unsatisfied instincts and desires, which are often hidden from the conscious mind.

Psychosomatic integrity in human personality development has been emphasized since the beginning of recorded history. Islam, too, has significantly pointed its need. Traditional moralists, as well as behavioral scientists, have always tried to reflect the cumulative knowledge and wisdom evolved in the past in one way or the other. Human beings are prone to seize every opportunity towards self ­satisfaction. They unceasingly avail every occasion to advance their own interests. This is equally true in matters of acquiring wealth, economics, politics and government, as well as in seeking to dominate others or to intensify sexuality.

To suggest that relieving the sex urge is like attending to one's call of nature, such as urination or defecation, is quite misleading, too. Any question of evacuating from one's self his or her own moral scruples or conditions, in the process of obtaining instant sexual relief, does not arise. Conversely, safeguarding one's morality cannot mean the same as accumulating urine. For, unlike moral continence, retention of urine is bound to cause bodily comfort and disease.

Some modernistic people assume that all human inclinations, irrespective of whether or not these concern sex, aggression, domination or mammon worship, should be freely allowed to be satisfied. This is supposed to be capable of eliminating human deprivation, frustration or dissatisfaction, in the process of satisfying one's desires. Their reasoning is based on a false assumption. For, as pointed out earlier, complete gratification of all human desires is not possible.

Human capacity to seek gratification of the natural and acquired desires is not instinctively limited, as in the case of animals. Had this not been the case, there would have been no need for any human regulation of not only the sexual intercourse, but health, socioeconomic and political interactions, as well. Even moral restraints would have been unnecessary where natural constraints made it impossible for anyone to seek excessive satisfaction, or indulge in excesses. The very limitation of natural capacity (to commit any excesses) would have served the purpose, as in the case of animals. However, ethical limits and procedural regulations are necessary for promoting just practices and fair transactions in the socioeconomic and political fields. Likewise, limitation on, and regulation of, sexual behavior and the related activities, consistent with the needs of chastity and rectitude, should also be acceptable to everyone.

*Hereafter are verses in holy Quran mentioning sexual organs and subjects related: “And O Adam, dwell you and your wife in the paradise and you may eat from anywhere you desire, but do not even approach this tree, or you would be of the evildoers (19) But Satan whispered to them so that he might lead them to see their ‘shameful parts’ which had been hidden for them, and said to them: ‘your Lord has only forbidden you to approach this tree lest you become monarchs everlasting and immortals (20) Then Satan swore to them, truly I am for you a sincere advisor (21) Thus he caused them to fall by delusion, and when they tasted the tree, their shameful parts appeared to them and they hurried to cover themselves with leaves from the paradise and their Lord called to them: ‘Did I not forbid you from that tree and say that Satan is an evident enemy to you? (22) (7:19-22).

We notice here that God described the sex organs hereabove as shameful parts being exposed publicly, so Allah, this behavior is so depreciated and humiliated by Allah having been done out of the right situation it has to be taken over into, that is Marriage. On the other hand, let us carefully notice mentioning of the same parts in believers and followers and let us admire choosing the decent words defining them:

“Say to the believing men that they cast down their glances (gazes) and guard their chastity, that is more pure for them. Indeed Allah is well aware of what they do (30) And say to the believing women to cast down their glances and guard their chastity and reveal not their adornment except that which must appear, and let them draw their veils around their garments over their chests and not reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, or believing women, or what their right hands possess of women, or male servants (eunuch) proven free of sexual desire, or young children who have no sense of the private parts…(31)  (24:30&31)

Hereabove as we can see, there is a very precise limitation of whom women could be non-veiled in their presence, as God, being their creator, knows that these forbidden relationship denies the sense of sexual arousal between interrelated persons, preconditioned of course that these have to be emotionally balanced personalities  

“….and guard their chastity(5) Except for their spouses and whom their right hands possess (whom they own as slaves) for that they are not to be blamed (6) And whoever goes beyond that, those are the transgressors (7) (23:5-7)

This right for Muslims to practice sex with slaves used to be devoted to men, as the woman is the one who gets pregnant and then there has to be one man in order to facilitate the identification of the father, second point to be mentioned here is about owning persons as slaves, this act was widely present at the time of establishment of Prophet Mohammad’s message and the time before since ever, but this was prohibited religiously a bit later, but whom who had slaves beforewards, have the right to keep them but they are extremely rewarded by Allah if they set them free.

“.. and those men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who remember Allah oftenly, for them, Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward…” (33:35)

“And Mary the daughter of Imran, who guarded her chastity, so we breathed into her of our spirit, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His Books, and she was of the obedients” (66:12)

In Islam, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone

Imam Muhammad ibn Zakariyya (one of the biggest Islamic knowers) once said the coming statement aged several hundreds of years:

"Abstaining from sexual intercourse for an extended period weakens one’s nervous system, can cause obstruction of the urethra, and shrinks the penis."

!!! Hold on.... Only Lawful Sex!!!

Other benefits of lawful sexual intercourse include protecting one’s eyes from looking at what is unlawful, preserving one’s chastity, controlling one’s desire and lust against what is unlawful, and providing the same for his or her spouse. This will certainly provide the believing man and woman with innumerable benefits in this world and in the hereafter. Imam Ahmad alluding to abstention from sex, once said:

"I exercise patience when fasting from food and drink, though it is still difficult."

He also reported in his collection of correct prophetic traditions that Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) encouraged the believers to get married, saying:

"Get married, and conceive children for I shall take pride in your number on the Day of Judgment."

Ibn Abbass (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said:

"I get married, eat meat, sleep, stand up in night prayers, fast, and break my fast. Whoever disdains from my traditions (Sunnah) is not one of my followers."

He (PBUH) also said:

"O young men whoever among you has the means to establish a family, he should get married, for marriage preserves the chastity of one’s eyes and sexual organ, and whoever cannot afford to establish a family, he must fast from desiring sex, for abstention in that
case will protect him from sin."

Ibn Abbass (RA) once narrated that Allah meesenger (PBUH) said:

"We recognize that marriage is the best solution for two people who are in love."

       Medical researchers prove that sexual intercourse yields essential health benefits; Galen attributes semen to the elements of fire and air and describes its humors as hot and moist. This is because semen is rich in prostaglandins, which are hormones, formed of fatty acids and phospholipids found throughout the body and particularly in semen. Prostaglandins are primary nutrients that affect essential body processes, including blood pressure, metabolism, and body temperature among others. Hence, understanding the value of this most unmitigated and purest form of blood and its preciousness require great consideration in discharging it.

       This means to wisely value the reasons behind dispensing of this precious “water of life” for emitting it through lawful sexual intercourse upon congestion (inside the bond of marriage) whether simply for the joy of sex or for conceiving a child.

       In fact, congestion and prevalence of semen for an extended period of time can cause its corruption and produces the well known medical problems of pelvic congestion, however, sometimes a spontaneous and involuntary emission carries on getting rid of excess semen usually during sleep without sexual intercourse.

       Congestion also can cause various illnesses and infirmities including obsession, habitude, and sometimes, psychological disturbances. Whereas, engaging in lawful and regular sexual intercourses, may aid in the recovery from such illnesses.

       In the purpose of being moderate in everything as Islam always advises, some learned predecessors have concluded that the human being should pledge:

1-To walk a certain minimum distance everyday

2-To free his stomach at regular intervals and not to extend fasting from food beyond the religious requirements

3-Not to abstain from having a lawful sexual intercourse, for the extra quantity of semen, as well as for its drainage and renewal to be regular.