Muslim Youth and Pornography

Muslim Youth and Pornography

Internet pornography is the latest media menace parents and anyone concerned about children and morality in general, must deal with.

Pictures of naked women (it's usually women, since most pornography caters to heterosexual men) and couples engaged in various forms of sexual intercourse, to name just a few of the contents of pornography, are not just reserved to the internet though.

For decades, "porn" in various forms has been found in magazines, films, and more recently during a lot of prime time television.

The internet is just the latest tool pornographers have found to spread their "art", which poses a number of problems.

For instance, unlike television, the Internet's lure to pornography is not something that can be ignored by flipping a channel, or pushing the off button.

It is not uncommon for children and adults to be doing a search on a general topic, punching in a couple of search words or a possible internet address, only to suddenly find the pornographic pictures pop up on the screen, even after they try to close the windows, or move to another site.

The pervasiveness of pornography on the internet means Muslims need to consider once again the Islamic perspective on this issue while they use this new medium.

Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases.

*The Islamic perspective:

"There is no room for anyone to say pornography is not Haram. It’s absolutely Haram," notes Shaykh Muhammad Nur Abdullah. He is the Imam of the Islamic Foundation of Greater St. Louis in Missouri. Nur Abdullah has a degree in Shariah (Islamic Law) from Madinah university, and a Master’s Degree in Quran and Hadith from Umm al Qura university in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

"If someone is looking at someone committing Zina (sex outside of marriage) whether it is movies or pictures or the actual thing, it’s all Haram," he adds.

Some of the proofs he gives for the prohibition of pornography in Islam include verses 31 and 32 of chapter 24 (Noor) of the Quran:

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modety (chastity); that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquinted with all what they do (31), And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’sons, their brothers, and their brothers’ sons,or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male attendants free of sexual desire (castrate), or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women, and they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments (32) (24:31&32)

As well as Hadiths (Prophet Mohamed PBUH statements) that say what leads to Haram (religiously prohibited) is Haram, and that adultery is committed by the eye and the hand, even before a sexual encounter takes place.

Dremali, who is a graduate of Al Azhar university in Cairo, Egypt, agrees.

He has openly discussed the problem of the internet, pornography and Muslim youth in his Khutbahs. On a day to day level, he says he gets at least two cases daily of young Muslims, boys and girls, who come to the mosque and speak to him personally about this problem.

Dremali says the teenagers feel guilty, but they cannot stop looking at this material. They need a cure, they have become addicted 

"The person who looks at these things will always have Shaytan (Satan) in his mind because he wants to commit these (actions)," he says. "Shaytan never takes the person immediately to commit adultery (he does it in steps)."

Dremali also gives a clear example of the role the internet plays in being one of the steps leading to sex outside of marriage.

"The hand commits adultery by touching Haram and the person using the keyboard and using the mouse to look at these pictures, he or she is committing adultery," he warns.

Dremali says the view expressed by Hizb At-Tahrir is ruining Muslim youth, some of who are using this opinion to justify looking at pornography.

In his 1988 study Pornography Effects: Empirical and Clinical Evidence, Victor Cline, then with the University of Utah’s Department of Psychology noted that studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.

For those who have been trained from a young age to lower the gaze and practice Islamic principles of modesty, this may not even be an issue.
But for those who have sadly fallen into pornography addiction, there is a way out.

Alcoholics’ Anonymous is an organization that has fought the battle against alcohol addiction since 1935. It’s "Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous" provides a clear, general guide on how to get out of the addiction of alcohol, which has killed people, ruined families, and led to health problems.
Sound Vision has adapted the following 12 steps from this guide to, Insha Allah, help those now addicted to pornography and seeking a way out.

*Step One-Admit that you can’t give up:

Admit you are unable to get a grip on your consumption of pornography. It is uncontrollable. Every time you turn on the internet, go to the video store, turn on the television, you cannot say NO to yourself. You cannot NOT surf porn sites, or stop watching. You are no longer in control of your life.

Step Two-Admit only Allah can get you out of this:

You know, after trying through so many ways to control your addiction and subsequently failing, that only Allah can help you out of this. You may have known it before, but you are convinced of it now without a shadow of a doubt.

Step Three- Your life and death are all in Allah’s control:

Have decided to put your complete trust in Allah, who is in control of all aspects of your life and your death, and to bring this problem and seek His Help first and foremost.

Step Four-Did a self-analysis:

You have done an honest, sincere, but often painful self-evaluation of your good points, bad points, and analyzed your addiction, trying to understand how you reached this point.

Step Five-Made a specific repentance to Allah:

You admitted to Allah and to yourself, and another trusted Muslim (if possible) exactly where you went wrong. You did not make a general request for repentance. You specifically listed your mistakes, and in particular, your addiction to pornography.

Step Six-Were open and ready to receive Allah’s help to change:

You knew your Tawbah, being sincere, must be followed by action. You were ready to do what is necessary to change, no matter how difficult or painful. Even if it meant not even watching television for the news, or never surfing the internet alone.

Step Seven- Asked for the removal of faults:

You asked Allah, with sincerity, humility and regret, to help you never repeat this action (i.e. looking at pornography) again and to help you avoid repeating sins committed in the past again.

Step Eight-Decided to seek others’ forgiveness:

You made a list of everyone you had hurt through your addiction. Whether it was your wife or husband, children (to whom we set a bad example) or parents, and made the Niyyah (intention) to approach them seeking forgiveness.

Step Nine-Asked forgiveness directly:

You slowly, with difficulty but sincerity, met with each individual and asked for their forgiveness and sought to make amends for the pain you have caused in a Halal way.

Step Ten-Did a nightly self-evaluation:

You continually, every night, did an honest self-evaluation of your behavior, and were ready to admit your mistakes and thank Allah for the good you did that day.

Step Eleven-Made lots of Dua and tried to increase your Taqwa:

You prayed and continue to pray five times a day, seeking closeness to Allah, and a consciousness of Him (Taqwa) wherever you are. You increase your reliance on Him to help you with with this addiction to pornography and with all other matters in your life.

Step Twelve-You preached and practiced:

You didn’t just "move on" after Allah blessed you to get out of this addiction. You helped others you knew with this problem with regular contact, sincere Nasihah, respecting the etiquette of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. By the grace of Allah, helping others helped you maintain control over your addiction and you helped another Muslim or another human being, get out of this destruction and misery.

*The danger of chat rooms:

Dremali notes that one specific danger related to the internet and adults and children is chat rooms, where anyone with access can communicate with others anonymously, even lying about names, ages and identities.

What happens there, says the scholar, is that people arrange to meet for sexual encounters. This includes Muslims, says Dremali, who has observed this happen.

In particular, he says America Online has "the most dangerous chat rooms. I advise every parent to stop America Online, or watch the America Online chat room with their kid."Your kids are not necessarily angels who don’t know about porn”.

In his notes, Taha Ghayyur wrote: "Unfortunately there are a lot of Muslim youth who are using pornography on the [internet], and they basically use the internet only for that purpose," Too often, though, parents are willing to bury their heads in the sand when the issue of pornography and their children comes up.

"How do you know your kids don’t know about it?" asks Dremali.

The easy access to pornography on television (no longer reserved to just the very late night hours), on the magazine stands and the internet makes it almost impossible to avoid, even if one’s intentions are clear.

In the case of the internet, sometimes accompanying links or windows to pornographic websites or webpages will suddenly open up, against the wishes of the surfer.

This however, does not mean parents should automatically assume the worst about their children.

Shaykh Nur Abdullah stresses the importance of openly talking to children about the problem, especially if they have been caught looking at such material. If parents don’t do this "then we are turning our face away from the problem," he says

*But don’t stop the internet or any other media:

Despite the danger of exposure to pornography though, neither Shaykh Nur Abdullah nor Imam Dremali recommend ridding Muslim homes of the internet, for instance. Both say the key is really in how the medium, like other ones of the past (i.e. television, magazines, etc.) is being used.

"The internet is good and bad," says Dremali. "Allah gave us the brains to think where is the good way and where is the bad way. According to your choice Allah will judge you."

*YOU PORN ADDICTS: THERE IS A WAY OUT!!

"Say: O Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" (Quran 39:53)

Whether it’s pornography, stealing, lying, backbiting, our sins, for most of us at least, accumulate day by day.

We may try to hold our tongues, lower our gaze, not disrespect our parents and/or elders, or avoid a myriad of the sins Allah has ordered us to avoid, but as humans we are weak, and we can and do make mistakes daily (if not hourly).

But while Allah prescribes punishment, either in this life, the next life or both, the doors of repentance are always open. No matter how awful our sin, until we die, Allah is always ready to hear and accept our repentance, provided it is sincere and results in change.

In the Quran, Allah repeatedly says that He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.

In a commentary of Qur'anic verses 63 to 73 of Surah 25 (Al-Furqan), Syed Abul Ala Maududi discusses this story from the time of the Prophet related by the scholar Ibn Kathir as an example of forgiveness:

Abu Huraira said: "One day when I returned home after offering the Isha prayer in the Prophet’s Mosque, I saw a woman standing at my door. I saluted her and walked into my room, closed the door and busied myself in voluntary worship. After a while she knocked at the door. I opened the door and asked what she wanted. She said that she had come with a problem: she had committed Zina (sex outside of marriage), had become pregnant, given birth to a child and then killed it. She wanted to know if there was any chance of her sin being forgiven. I replied in the negative. She went back grief-stricken, exclaiming, ‘Ah! This beautiful body was created for the fire!’

The next morning, after the prayer, when I related the night’s incident before the Holy Prophet, he said, ‘You gave a very wrong answer, Abu Huraira. Haven’t you read the Qur'anic verse which says:

‘(Those) who do not invoke any other deity than Allah, nor slay such life as Allah has made sacred, except for just cause, nor commit fornication; and any that does this not only meets punishment but the penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will dwell there in ignominy–except the one who believes (or reaffirms his faith) and does righteous deeds. Allah will change evil of such persons into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’

Hearing this from the Prophet, I went out in search of the woman, and had her traced again at Isha time (night prayer). I gave her the good news and told her what the Holy Prophet had said in reply to her question.

She immediately fell prostrate on the ground and thanked Allah, Who had opened a way for her forgiveness.

Then she offered repentance and set a slave-girl, along with her son, free."

*And hereafter are some points to be taught to youth (and non-youth)

to protect them against this trap called “pornography addiction”:

Tip #1: Know what is Halal and what’s not

We may think only hard core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true.

Improperly dressed men and women, sexual situations, foreplay, kissing, touching, dirty jokes: none of these are Islamically acceptable.

Tip #2: Remember your accountability to Allah

In America and some other countries, you’re fully responsible for your actions when you turn 18. In Islam, you’re fully accountable as soon as you understand these things. So that means that from that point onwards, you cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. Remember that Allah is always watching. He is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us for the good and punishes us for the bad we do.

Tip #3: Become conscious of the Haram

Too often, it’s easy to dismiss that billboard with the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it, remember the Islamic perspective, your accountability to Allah, and lower your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing this, Insha Allah, it’ll become a habit, and eventually an automatic reaction.

Tip #4: If feeling overwhelmed, remember Allah

In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can’t get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah’s help. You don’t necessarily need any heavy duty, long Duas. La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (there is no power or ability except with Allah) is short, simple, and reminds you who is really in control and can help you out of this.

Tip #5: Seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan

Shaytan lured you into this mess. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material, Insha Allah.

Tip #6: Get up and leave

If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is, or where you’ve been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.

Tip #7: Avoid those involved in pornography

If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him or her change through gentle and sincere advice (see etiquettes of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil)or abandon frequent contact with them. Their compulsion will affect you, so it’s best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself, your religion, and your relationship with Allah.

Tip #8: Stay away from places where it’s found

Sometimes it’s on a billboard on a highway and you can’t miss it. But often times, you’ll notice certain parts of your city (the seedier ones) tend to be filled with this kind of material (where there are usually strip joints, for example). Avoid these places as much as you can. If it’s on your way to school, try to change your route. Also, in summer, stay away from the beach.

Tip #9: Surf or watch T.V. when others are around

The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you’re alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night T.V. and internet surfing. Instead, watch or surf when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one’s watching (and remember Allah is ALWAYS watching). It is a good idea not to have TV or computer in the bedroom anyway. Living room or study room are better place for this stuff.

Tip #10: Remember your example

If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you’re setting for them. What message will they get if they barge into your room and catch you watching Baywatch or flipping through Playboy.

Tip #11: For brothers-remember your mom and sister

Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way many of us look at the Baywatch babes or the girls on the internet or in magazines. Remember mom and your sister, and that should sicken you enough to stop, Insha Allah.

Tip #12: Have someone watch over you

If you really feel you’re becoming addicted (see http://www.soundvision.com) to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don’t have to tell them why you’re doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Shaytan tempts us most easily when we’re alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will Insha Allah, help.

Tip #13: Fast

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material.

Tip #14: Tauba: Return to Allah

If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to compensate for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are sincere.

Tip #15: Repent Again and Fine Yourself

If you lapse, do tauba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising to yourself that if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.

The message is that don’t give up on you. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Shaitan could be creative. And with the help of Allah, you will be the winner insha Allah.

*WHAT TO DO IF A FRIEND IS INVOLVED IN SUCH A BIG SIN LIKE PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION?

Al Tirmithi reported that the prophet (PBUH) addressed his companions saying: “Do not keep company except with whom who is a good believer (follower), and do not feed anyone except to whom who is pious”

There is no doubt that when young people keep company with those who have faith and piety, they will adopt their righteousness, integrity, and good habits as well as following them in their faith and piety. On the other hand, those who accompany wrongdoers and the rebellious, take from their evil, corruption and bad habits, and will follow them in their wrongdoing and rebellion. Al Tirmithi recorded this meaning from the words of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) when he said: “A man embraces the religion of his friend, thus the individual should be aware of whom he takes as a friend”

In order not to have conflicts about the meaning of this statement of prophet Mohammad’s (PBUH), we have to understand that the friendship is a very precious blessing, so, and taking in consideration that “Faith increases and decreases” as Allah messenger (PBUH) mentioned in one of his statements, friends who basically are in good terms with the good principles –especially religious ones-, should be alert for each others’ level of faith, to give a good hand to that whose faith is in a status of decrease due to any reason, and not to abandon him with the excuse of his being not very religious, on the contrary, we have to be more focusing on treating the wrongdoing(s) he sinks in. let us see an example of the role of a friend towards another on the light of Islamic basics:

Enjoining or commanding the good and forbidding the evil is a Muslim’s duty. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever among you sees a Munkar (offensive or evil act), then he must change it with his hand; if he is incapable, then with his tongue; if he is incapable, then with his heart; and that is the weakest faith” (Muslim).

Here are some tips to be considered:

Tip #1: Know what you are talking about

Know the Islamic perspective on this issue by reading up on it and talking to knowledgeable and trustworthy Muslims and followers.

Tip #2: Hate it with your heart

Sometimes, we are not in a position where we can do anything about pornography with our hand or by saying something about. The least we should do is hate this in our hearts. That means hating to hear dirty jokes, to see half-naked individuals selling products on television or in magazines, and hating to encounter this kind of material in general. By hating it, we will develop sensitivity against it, and be able to see how disgusting it is.

Tip #3: Practice what you preach

Not only is this an Islamic requirement, but also keep in mind that if Imran or anyone else sees you lecturing about porn but catches you sneaking a peak at one of the women on Baywatch, he’ll notice your hypocrisy and be less likely to take you seriously.

Tip #4: Show genuine concern for him

Friendship is built on concern for others. This is why so many young people turn to friends instead of parents in times of crisis because many parents often don’t express this concern openly. By showing genuine concern, your advice is more likely to be heeded, InshaAllah.

Tip #5: Be sincere in your advice

Don’t try to change Imran so he can see how much you know, or to impress others. Do it sincerely, for the sake of Allah and because Imran is your brother, and all Muslims are like one body.

Tip #6: Speak to him in private

NEVER bring up this problem in front of other people. Even if Imran doesn’t realize this is wrong, belittling him or exposing this fault of his in front of others will make him defensive and angry. He’ll probably not want to associate with you very much after you’ve humiliated him publicly. Your opportunity to help him then, is lost. Talk to him when the two of you are alone.

Tip #7: Talk to him on the right occasion

Indirectly bring up the topic when you’re alone together. Either wait for him to tell you about his latest Internet surfing adventures or when something inappropriate comes on television, lower your gaze or ask him to change the channel. When he asks why, begin the discussion.

Tip #8: Be gentle

Yelling, screaming, threatening, trying to trash your friend’s computer are not going to get him to stop viewing pornography. Remember that harshness often makes people rebel instead of turning them towards what’s right. Think about your parents. When they yell at you to do something, are you likely to do what they ask happily and willingly? Or are you more likely to do it if they address you in a gentle and kind manner? Use the same principle on any friend having the same problem.

Tip #9: Speak about your personal experience

Start off describing your own initial ignorance about this topic, but after researching you found out why watching pornography and similar material was unacceptable and decided not to try to stop looking at it. This will make it clear to that friend that you yourself are dealing with the problem, not just talking. After doing this, discuss with him gently about his own problem with pornography.

Tip #10: Be patient

In a best-case scenario, your friend will realize the error of his ways, and automatically stop looking at the pornographic material.

In a most-case scenario, he will feel uncomfortable, but will not be willing to give up his habit. He may whine, try to justify what he’s doing, etc.

Be patient. Change does not happen overnight. Keep at him, but continue to be gentle, and wisely bring up the issue. Offer to help him. Give him some tips (see above).

Tip #11: Make Doa’ (prayers and requests from Allah) for him

Only Allah can really change anyone’s heart and actions. Make Doa’ for this friend and others in same situation regularly. Don’t give up on him/them.

*Some statistics and facts about pornography:

Web usage by interest:

·               #1 News/Information

·               #2 Adult (pornography)

·               #3 Chat room/Discussion Groups

·               #4 Games

*Percentage of pornographic sites:

"Over 30% of sites on the World Wide Web are pornographic" (USA Today, April 8, 1998)

Looking for one thing, finding another

"Our internet search engine reports reveal a disturbing reality. In over 99% of the hits directed to our site, the person performing the search was looking for pornography, many looking for child pornography. To think, 99% used pornography search words inspired our project, Internet Intervention. Internet Intervention is a network of computers, hosting hundreds of websites, which direct the keyword searcher of child pornography to an Intervention Help Site. The very people that need it the most see our message of help. Click here to see a help website that you could have been directed to if you use child pornography search words on your search engine request."

-From the website of the Tonya Flynt Foundation, an anti-pornography website. Tony Flynt is the daughter of notorious American pornographer Larry Flynt.

*A Multi billion dollar industry:

Pornography is a $12-$13 billion-a-year industry-more than the combined annual revenues of the Coca-Cola and McDonnell Douglas corporations.

Pornographic entertainment on the Internet constituted the third largest sector of sales in cyberspace, with estimated annual revenues of $100 million.  Such marketing success has fueled an increase in the size of the pornography industry -- $10 billion annually, according to conservative estimates.

*Hits on a porn site:

Playboy's headquarters received 4.7 million hits (electronic visits) in a recent seven-day period.

*Porn video rentals:

Porn video rentals soared to 665 million in 1996, accounting for 13.3% of video rentals in America. Profits of sales and rentals of porn videos was $4.2 billion in 1996.

*Addiction to pornography:

Pornography consumption can be as "mood altering" and as addictive as narcotics,

Studies show pornography is progressive and addictive for many. It often leads to the user acting out his fantasy - often on children.

*Pornography’s effects on fathers:

More sophisticated analysis reveals that men who had “purchased pornographic materials in the past year” had significantly lower marital, fathering and family-life satisfaction when compared to those who had not purchased pornographic materials in the past year.

*Pornography and sexual assault:

Research gathered over the past few decades demonstrates that pornography contributes to sexual assault, including rape and the molestation of children.

Child molesters often use pornography to seduce their prey, to lower the inhibitions of the victim, and to serve as an instruction manual.

*Who consumes pornography?

A primary pornography consumer group is boys between ages 12 - 17.

-Attorney General's Final Report on Pornography, 1986, pg. 258

*Pornography’s effect on sexual relationships:

Pornography distorts the natural development of personality. If the early stimulus is pornographic photographs, the adolescent can be conditioned to become aroused through photographs.  Once this pairing is rewarded a number of times, it is likely to become permanent.  The result to the individual is that it becomes difficult for the person to seek out relations with appropriate persons.