ISLAMIC CONCEPTS OF MARITAL SEXUALITY

ISLAMIC CONCEPTS OF MARITAL SEXUALITY

Demonstrating the venerable characteristics that are of Islamic Shari’a that are exemplified in its divinity, practicality, and comprehensiveness; we –hereby- are talking about the point of Allah’s comprehensiveness with regard to creation, life, and man, as we study Allah’s view towards sex. This issue will be addressed in this chapter in order to clarify that Allah is a religion in harmony with man’s innate nature. Its laws are for eternity as well as for this life… until Allah returns the earth and all what is on it to His Holy self. Allah the Almighty says: “..And who is better in judgment than Allah for a people who have firm faith? (5:50)

Undoubtedly, Allah acknowledges the innate impulses and sexual urges of man. This is based on the words of Allah. God Almighty says: “(That is) the nature (fitra) with which Allah has created mankind” (30:30).

It should be noted that there couldn’t exist any contradiction between the law of Allah and the urges that He inculcates in man. How could such contradiction exist when the laws which Allah, the Almighty, laid down were laid down for the sake of man to be His vicegerent on Earth and to strive his utmost in building up its civilization. As Allah is the lord of mankind and the One worthy of man’s worship, it is Him who legislates for them laws that raise humanity an achieve their welfare and happiness for them in this world and the one after.

Allah recognizes the power of sexual need, but the subject is discussed in the Allah and the saying of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in a serious manner, in regard to marital and family life. Parents should familiarize themselves with this body of knowledge.

       The sexual aspect of life in Allah has three basic purposes:

1-Fulfillement of one’s desire, satisfaction of one’s sexual pleasure, and enjoyment of this blessing so as to lead a balanced happy life, with positive effect on oneself and others.

2-Ejection of bodily fluids from the body; otherwise suppression or retention of semen can cause various kinds of serious illness namely; pelvic congestion and its well-being-threatening sequences especially prostatitis.

3-Conservation of human race and continuity of its kind until it reaches the total number of human beings intended by Allah leave to experience life in this world, to fulfill the divine purpose, and to show gratitude to its creator. 

*Evidence Confirming Allah’s Acknowledgement of These inclinations and Urges:

i- Allah words:

1-          “Made tempting to people is the love of lusts, women, and children, heaped up hoards of gold and silver, choicest horses, cattle and crops. Such is the enjoyment of the life of this world, but the everlasting and best abode is with Allah” (3:14)

2-          “And there is no blame on you if you make an indirect proposal of marriage to widowed women during their waiting terms, or keep it concealed in your hearts for Allah knows that you will think of them, but do not make any secret engagement with them, except to speak of righteousness…” (2:235)

3-          “And the woman of the house he was living in began to tempt him and totally locked the doors on them, and she said: ‘come take me’, he said: I seek refuge in Allah, he is my lord who has given me a good abode…” (12:23)

4-          “So when she heard about their sly talk, she sent for them and she gave each one of them a knife and she sad: ‘Coe forth Joseph before them; so when they saw him, they were so carried away in admiration for him that they cut their hands unknowingly and they said: ‘God forbid! This cannot be human, he must be an honorable angel” (12:31)

5-          “It is lawful for you, on the nights of fasting to approach your wives, they are your garments and you are their garments; Allah knows that you were betraying yourselves, but he has turned to you and pardoned you, so now approach them and seek what Allah has ordained for you…” (2:187)

6-          “If you fear Allah, speak not in an affected tone, so that he in whose heart is a disease may yearn; but tell honorable words (with clear meanings)” (33:32)

7-          “And from HIS signs (miracles) is that HE created for yourselves spouses, for you to find serenity with them and he has set between you affection and mercy..” (30:21)

ii- in Sunnah (Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) sayings):

1-          “Five practices are basic instinctive characteristics: circumcision (male), shaving pubic region, clipping the nails and cutting the moustaches short”

2-“If you enter your town by night after coming from a journey, do not enter upon your family till the woman whose husband was absent shaves the pubic hair and the woman with unkept hair to comb her hair”

3- Jabir ben Abdallah (a young companion of the holy prophet who was in his early twenties or late teens at that time) narrated: “while we were returning from a ‘ghazwa’ (holy battle) with Prophet (PBUH), I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel, a rider came behind me and bricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet (PBUH) himself. He said: ‘what makes you run in such a hurry?’ I replied: ‘I am newly married’. He said: “Did you marry a virgin or a matron? I replied: ‘a matron’. He said: ‘Why didn’t you marry a virgin so that you may play with her and she with you?’ I said: ‘o Allah messenger; my parents passed away leaving 9 sisters and me, so I pitied a virgin for taking that huge responsibility of taking care of my 9 younger sisters’ He said: ‘God bless you’. And he gave me the permission to precede the rest of the army, and advised me saying: ‘but make it so that you may enter Madina at night for your wife to get ready for you.

4-“When one of you (means Muslim men) sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart”

5-Describing the events of an actual intercourse, prophet Mohamed (PBUH) said: “…marriage is not complete until she tastes the honey of her husband and he tastes her honey”. Mentioning the equality in needs and interests and also in the ways of having fun, satisfaction and fulfillment.

6-“I intended to prohibit cohabitation with a lactating women until I considered the Romans and the Persians do it without any injury being caused to children thereby”.  The reason why the Holy prophet was going to forbid such an act is that he thought that if ever a woman performs sexual intercourse, this could affect her hormonal pattern in a way that it could harm baby’s health through affecting his nutrition. The reason why suckling the milk of a woman by her adult husband is right was explained in the following lines by Imam Malik; when the adult drinks milk of his wife, the milk is treated as a food and not as foster milk.

7-“Othman ben Madhoun (one of the followers) said: “Allah Messenger (PBUH) refused his permission for sexual abstinence” and he added: if he had approved, we would have had castration done. And the purpose of refusing permitting sexual abstinence is the refusal of prohibiting what Allah permitted.

8-“Whoever claims himself to be a good follower of mine, let him have a spouse”

9-Prophet Mohamed was about to go into a Holy battle, then he said to the group of Muslim members of his army: “whoever is engaged to marriage and did not yet marry, let him not come with me nor follow me”

*And masturbation.. what about the Islamic point of view concerning it?

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother, we would like to thank you for showing keenness on learning the teachings of Allah, and we appreciate the great confidence you have in us. We hope our efforts meet your expectations.

With regard to your question, it is very important as it touches a problem most of Muslim youth, who are yet to get married, are facing due to the great deal of temptations surrounding them. As you know, masturbation is perfectly acceptable in non-Muslim societies and is practiced by large number of people: young, single, old, and even married. However, the situation is different in Allah. The ruling on masturbation is governed by some considerations that might change the ruling from one person to another.

The late prominent scholar Sheikh Mustafa Az-Zarqa, may Allah bless his soul, has analyzed the issue of masturbation in detail and, after discussing the different views of scholars and jurists regarding it, issued the following fatwa:

The only legal text used as evidence for the prohibition of masturbation is Allah’s saying describing the believers: “Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” (23:5-7)

Commenting on this verse, some scholars hold the view that this habit (masturbation) falls under the category of those who seek fulfillment of their sexual desires outside the framework of marriage, and as such they are deemed transgressors. Those scholars put masturbation under the list of the forbidden categories of sexual fulfillment since it constitutes transgression of boundaries. This view is held by the Shafei (followers of the Shafi`Allah school of Fiqh).
However, some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of Zina (adultery). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:
1. If the person is unmarried,
2. If he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit Zina, and
3. If the masturbation here is, rather than fulfilling a sexual desire, just to release the sexual tension resulting from stimulation.

I conclude that the general principles of Shari`ah go against this habit, because it is not the normal way of fulfilling sexual desire; however it is a deviation – and that is enough to condemn it, even though this act does not fall under the category of absolute prohibition like Zina. However, the law of necessity, which is one of the principles of Shari`ah, should also apply here. For example, if someone is afraid that he would commit a greater sin like Zina or he will be harmed by some psychological disorders, then the ban on masturbation would be relaxed just to remove the hardship, based on the Shari`ah principle that states that “necessity is judged according to the circumstances that warrant it.”

That means going to the extreme in masturbating is not permissible in all cases, for the following two reasons:
1. It would be resorted to not as a case of extreme necessity to release the tension and the pain resulting from sexual arousal, but to fulfill the sexual desire, and
2. It is harmful to one’s health, and whatever is physically harmful is not allowed in Shari`ah, according to the consensus of the Muslim scholars.

In addition to the two conditions stipulated by the Hanafites, I would add two more conditions based on the general rules of Shari`ah:
1. The difficulty of getting married, and
2. The inability to fast.

As we know, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has advised those who cannot afford marriage to fast, saying: “O youth, whoever of you is able to marry, let him marry, for it prevents forbidden stares or lapsing in adultery. And if he cannot marry, let him observe fasting, for it is a shield against evil.” This is the view I believe to be the most correct concerning this issue.”

Allah Almighty knows best.