The Quranic exercise of sexuality assumes, therefore, an infinite majesty. It is life conveyed, existence multiplied, creation perpetuated. The sexual function is in itself a sacred function. It is one of those signs (aya) by which the power of Allah may be recognized. To accept one’s sex is to accept being a witness to Allah. So the relation of the sexes was to be the object of very special attention on the part of the Allah: it must be regulated so that it may be used in the right way. The Allah does not itself lay down prohibitions; it merely regulates sexual practices.
Practicing sex in Allah is sometimes could be a rewarded worship (if within marriage), or a penalized sin (if outside marriage/adultery), so let us have a round on the different forms of possible sex practices and what Allah stated concerning them:
*IDEAL PICTURE OF SEX PRACTICE:
Coming to the other Quranic verse mentioned earlier setting very clear and in the very details Allah rules about optimum sexual relationship between married couple, establishing a “manual” of dealing a happiest sex life ever, and thus adding to performing the previous everyday life-instructions explained latterly, this would lead people to get a perfect marital life.
“Your wives/women are tilth for you so you have to approach your polwings by any way you desire and introduce for yourselves and fear Allah and know that you are to meet Him (in the hereafter) and give good tidings to those who believe”(2:223)
-“your wives”: this is the verbal meaning, which also means your wives. About the substantial meaning: Allah here is talking to males of mankind of his creatures, this is proved by starting the verse by this word “your wives”, and here, we have to notice the same principle followed in the verse of “Ar-rum” explained latterly, this is targeting the possession instinct using the word ”your” reminding man here that these women (wives) are belongings to them with all the preconditions of possessing a belonging, among which is proper conservation and guarding, and looking after, and all other feelings mentioned in the explanation of the verse (30:21). Allah Almighty could have mentioned “wives” or “women” without the word “your”, but here is clear again the desire of stimulating the instinct of possession being so powerful and governing especially in men.
-“tilth”: its different verbal meanings are as follows:
1st:plowing
2nd: tilling
3rd: cultivation
4th: culture
5th: arable place
Substantially: Allah here is confining the place of the sexual act between the man and the wife to the site of cultivation (which is putting a seed to obtain the a plant, the seed here being the sperms and the plant being the offspring); this is in the mean time denying every other place for mating but the vagina which fulfills the above-mentioned conditions, as well as confirming one of the main purposes of marriage which is giving rise to further generations of mankind… simply having kids.
-“for you”: here is again the mostly clear purpose of Allah to endear wives to their husbands; by confirming these women and their given offspring to be belonging to men. The instinct of acquisition and mastery being much stronger in men than in women, and Allah, being the creator of both parties He insists on mentioning it but towards the kind purpose which is: being tender and take a good care of one’s woman; and also mentioning that they are the carriers of your children; is suggestive of their rights (women’s) to have your best care you men!!
- “so you approach your powling”: Actually this is an order from Allah to men whom He started the verse talking to; and He gives the meaning of those men are not free in approaching or non-approaching their wives; but they actually.. have to.. proved by this clear, non-conditioned order to them given by the greatest creator Almighty, and this is inclusively a divine admission of the women right in having sex and that she is not just a receiver or a container for man’s desire or ejaculate; but taking in consideration women’s timidity sometimes and pride some other times, one or both of which could keep them from requesting the relationship, Allah being her creator as well as his, is ordering this approach to be taken over by the man, him being the positive partner in the sexual relationship; so man is the one to be ordered of approaching, initiating, and performing; the whole thing being dependent on his own capabilities, and if ever he is not that capable, the act could not be performed, but on the other hand, e has to consider motivating himself towards it even if he does not desire it spontaneously; for another partner is being having a right in it, and this right is not to be suspended to partner’s terms. By the way, this is a known policy in treating male sexual dysfunction.
- “By anyway you desire”: in the first part of this sentence, the original Arabic word mentioned in this verse is a very small one “anna” which is an Arabic adverb of time, place and manner/method, the second part is “you desire”; substantially, I assume that this small and simple word “anna” could solve the problem the most widespread in the whole world; this is the sexual boredom. In this verse, man is given an unlimited freedom in sexual action in performing the sexual relationship, meaningly, in whatever place, time, and manner couple wills. So, about the time, sex is allowed any time; day or night, so long as neither of the couple is fasting (like during the daytime of the holy month of Ramadan). About the place, this denotes the possibility of changing the place of the intercourse so that to bypass the condition-link between the act and the place and thus avoiding boredom as well; this sometimes works markedly in sex therapy, especially when choosing unusual places for the intercourse, that is to add a funny texture to the process; thing also breaking boredom. Coming to –and ending with- the manner; I personally explained this part of the Quranic expression is meaning the sex positions, which nowadays reached several hundreds (this is explained and confirmed by several statements of Prophet Mohamed’s which will be mentioned later). Please notice that this was mentioned that early in time (more than 1425 years ago) by insinuating one’s freedom in choosing between unlimited patterns of having sex!!!
- “and”: in the Arabic language this “and” is just one letter. It may be a bit weird that I am giving such a small word and look attentively, to the significance of it is being specifically here: in the Arabic linguistics, this letter is there for the purpose for the purpose of togetherness; meaning that what is mentioned before occurs obligatorily with what is mentioned after it; in other words, what is before and what is after this letter should be happening together necessarily. Now, in the light of this fact, let us see what is this thing which is preconditioned by Allah to be taken over in order to have all the latterly mentioned rights in sex relationship:
- “introduce”: this is a very important basic element for the sexual relationship in general and for a successful one in particular; this is the ‘introduction’ or…’the foreplay’. Yes, this is a divine order from Allah to men to introduce for the act; this is of course because Allah knows very well the importance of such a basis for the act being –again and again- the creator of men, women, their instincts, needs, requirements, as well as best ways available to perform this act in a way so as to achieve optimum outcomes possible; and this could never happen without a properly executed foreplay. The man being the main approacher and initiator, he is the one who has to be told to, or rather ordered to do it, in order to guarantee woman’s right to get her pleasure which could be ignored or neglected by the man, or sometimes she does not ask for it out of timidity or shyness, and some other times she does not even know about her capability to get the same pleasure as her husband. To summarize, Allah is extremely keen about giving the women their rights to obtain their sexual pleasures and getting their orgasms; their sexual cycles being a bit longer in time than men’s, if man was left without being sexually-educated or directed to how to act, he could be finishing his own cycle while doing sex and that’s it, in this situation, with his cycle being shorter than his wife’s, women would never be able to reach orgasm so long as her spouse does not care about introducing for the act, and thus a very important right of hers’ is let down, but Allah Almighty would never let this happen, so, on the way of preventing these fallings, Allah gave these orders to men specifically.
- “for yourselves”:Hereby is a deeper and deeper meaning of sexual practice; this is about the nature of the instinct and the difference of its potency between man and woman, being much more potent in males because of the huge quantity of testosterone he has in his serum by nature, also the difference in perceiving and responding to sexual stimuli including the compliance and interaction of man’s sex partner, being larger although on men than women; so, one of the main sexual stimuli for the man is the woman sexual interaction, pleasuring, and orgasm, and even multiple orgasms. In other words; as much as the woman reacts and interacts with the man and responds to his erotic plays (foreplays), the man’s pleasure and excitation increase. This is actually the profound meaning of Allah divine words: “for yourselves”… what a beauty!!!! Back to reality; these are the words of the creator of the mankind and all their instincts, meaningly the manual for best performance of the mankind Allah has sculptured by his divine hands, thus He is the best to tell about His product
- “and fear Allah and know that you are to meet him”: here comes the turn for the threat for those who would not obey the previous divine orders, meaning that Allah here is reminding men (whom the whole speech was directed to) that the previous matter was as serious as they would be profoundly asked about before the great Allah Almighty, their Lord who is to punish them if not obedients.
- “and give good tidings to those who believe”: the believers in the religious language are those who obey God’s orders and follow Prophetic behaviors. The highest spiritual ambition for such people should be the hope of meeting Allah. To uphold such a hope is to give glad tidings to people of faith. It would only be unrepentant sinners who would fear the meeting. Note how the most sensuous matters are discussed frankly and immediately taken up into the loftiest regions of spiritual upliftments. From all what was mentioned hereabove, I concluded that this single verse in “Al baqara” chapter (“the cow”) gives a whole manual for having a perfect sexual life, with a very deep consideration and understanding of human instincts and needs, also mentioning the preconditions on the way to achieve it, this is following these instructions determined by our greatest Creator… our Lord.. Allah Almighty.
*TURNING SEX INTO SADAQA:
“Women shall have rights similar to the rights upon them; according to what is equitable and just.” (2:216)
They do indeed! This passage of the Holy Quran has a general sense. One basic right of every person taking on a contract never to have sex other than with his or her own legitimate partner is that each spouse should therefore provide sexual fulfillment to the other, as part of the bargain.
Now, every man knows what sexual things please him, but some men, particularly those who have not been married before and are therefore lacking experience, don’t seem to know much about how to give the same pleasure to the woman; even worse, some men do know but they can’t be bothered to make the effort. Yet this is vital if a marriage is to succeed and not just be a disappointing burden for the woman, and it is a vital part of one’s Islamic duty.
It is not acceptable for a Muslim man just to satisfy himself while ignoring his wife’s needs. Experts agree that the basic psychological needs of a man are respect and sexual satisfaction, while that of a woman is love. Neither respect nor love is things that can be forced, they have to be worked for, and earned. The Prophet (s) stated that in one’s sexual intimacy with one’s life partner there is sadaqa (worship through giving):
God’s Messenger(s) said: “In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa.” The Companions replied: “0 Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?” And he said, “Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded.” (Muslim)
What is the magic ingredient that turns sex into sadaqa, that makes it a matter of reward or punishment from Allah? It is by making one’s sex life more than simple physical gratification; it is by thought for pleasing Allah by unselfish care for one’s partner. A husband that cannot understand this will never be fully respected by his wife.
Neither spouse should ever act in a manner that would be injurious or harmful to their conjugal life. Nikah (marriage) is the sacred tie between husband and wife, that sincere and devoted love without which they cannot attain happiness and peace of mind.
“Of His signs is this: that He created for you spouses that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you affection and mercy.” (30:21)
Now, every Muslim knows that a man has a right on his wife. However, because nikah is a contract never to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage bond, Allah commands not only the women but the men in this respect, and makes it clear that if a husband is not aware of the urges and needs of his wife, he will be committing a sin by depriving her of her rights.
According to all four orthodox jurists, it is incumbent upon the husband to keep his wife happy and pleased in this respect. Likewise, it is essential for the wife to satisfy the desire of the husband. Neither should reject the other, unless there is some lawful excuse.
The jurists believed that a woman’s private parts needed “protecting” (tahseen). What they meant was that it was important for a Muslim husband to satisfy his wife’s sexual needs so that she would not be tempted to commit adultery (zina) out of despair or frustration.
A Muslim wife is not merely a lump of flesh without emotions or feelings, just there to satisfy a man’s natural urges. On the contrary, her body contains a soul no less important in God’s sight than her husband’s. Her heart is very tender and delicate, and crude or rough manners would hurt her feelings and drive away love. The husband would be both foolish and immoral to act in any way unpalatable to her natural temperament, and a man selfishly seeking his own satisfaction without considering that of his wife is a selfish boor. In fact, according to a hadith narrated by Daylami:
“Three things are counted inadequacies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him.” This is another of the things implied by the saying that one’s wife is “a tilth unto you.” (2:223) The imagery is that of a farmer taking care of his fields. According to Abul-Ala Mawdudi (a big Islamic knower):
“The farmer sows the seed in order to reap the harvest, but he does not sow it out of season or cultivate it in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate, and does not run riot.” Likewise, in the case of husband and wife, the husband should not just:
“Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner.”
If this is not taken into consideration, and the wife is not properly prepared to start lovemaking, or is unsatisfied when it is finished, there could be many psychological and physiological complications leading to frigidity and other abnormalities. Indeed, many husbands eventually become disappointed with their wives, believing them to be frigid or unable to respond to their activities (unlike the sirens on the film or TV screen), and they wonder what is wrong with them. A possible explanation will follow in a moment.
“Allah created male and female from a single soul in order that man might live with her in serenity” (7:189)
As we read, the primary reason for marriage was not unhappiness, frustration and strife. If your marriage is frankly awful, then you must ask yourself how such a desperate and tragic scenario could be regarded by anyone as “half the Faith.” According to a hadith narrated by Daylami:
“Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” “And what is that messenger?” they asked, and he replied: “Kisses and words.”
These “kisses and words” do not just include foreplay once intimacy has commenced. To set the right mood, little signals should begin well in advance, so that the wife has a clue as to what is coming, and is pleasantly expectant, and also has adequate time to make herself clean, attractive and ready. As regards intimacy itself, all men know that they cannot achieve sexual fulfillment if they are not aroused. They should also realize that it is actually harmful and painful for the female organs to be used for sex without proper preparation. In simple biological terms, the woman’s private parts need a kind of natural lubrication before the sexual act takes place. For this, Allah has created special glands which are the endocervical ones, also those as the Bartholin glands which emit their content at the time of female orgasm, which provide the necessary “oiling.”
It is still possible to read old-fashioned advice to husbands that a desirable wife should be “dry” which is remarkable ignorance and makes one really grieve for the poor wives of such inconsiderate men. Just as no one would dream of trying to run an engine without the correct lubricating fluids, it is the same, through the creative will of Allah, with the parts of the female body designed for sexual intimacy. A husband should know how to stimulate the production of these “oils” in his wife, or at the very least allow her to use some artificial “oils” such as astroglide gel or KY gel. This lack of knowledge or consideration is where so many marital problems frequently arise.
As Imam al-Ghazali says: “Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing,” and Imam al-Zabidi adds: “This should include not only the cheeks and lips; and then he should caress the breasts and nipples, and every part of her body.” Most men will not need telling this; but it should be remembered that failure to observe this Islamic practice is to neglect or deny the way Allah has created women.
Firstly, a husband must overcome his shyness enough to actually look at his wife, and pay attention to her. If he cannot bring himself to follow this Sunnah, it is an insult to her, and extremely hurtful. Personal intimacy is a minefield of opportunities to hurt each other, glancing at the watch, a yawn at the wrong moment, appearing bored, and so on. A husband’s duty is to convince his wife that he does love her, and this can only be done by word (constantly repeated word, I might add, such is the irritating nature of women!), and by looking and touching.
Many people believe that the expression in the eyes reveals much of the human soul. Certainly the lover’s gaze is a most endearing and treasured thing. Many wives yearn for that gaze of love, even after they have been married for years. If you cannot bring yourself to look at her while paying attention to her, she can only interpret this as a sign that you do not really love her. And even though it may be irritating to you, and seem quite sup erfluous, most women are deeply moved when a man actually tells her that he loves her (especially when this man is her husband).
*Sex is clean!
Sex is not a thing to be ashamed of, nor to be treated lightly, or to be indulged to excess. It is as solemn a fact as any in life. It is compared to husbandman’s tilth; it is a serious affair to him: he sows the seed in order to reap the harvest. But he chooses his own time and mode of cultivation. He does not sow out of the season nor cultivate in a manner, which would injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate and does not run riot. Coming from the simile to human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required, but above all, we must remember that even in these matters, there is a spiritual aspect. We must never forget our souls, and we are responsible to Allah. It was carnal-minded men who invented the doctrine of original sin: “Behold”. Says the psalmist; “I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me”. This is entirely repudiated in Allah, in which the office of father and mother is held in the highest veneration. Every child is born pure. Celibacy is not necessarily a virtue, and may be a vice.
A modest upbringing is part of good character. The Prophet (s) himself said: “Modesty brings nothing but good.” (Bukhari and Muslim) But another, also important, part of Islamic teaching says that all of Allah’s creation is beautiful and pure, particularly when it is part of the body of human beings, who are designed as His deputies upon the earth. In some religions, people traditionally believed that the woman’s private parts are in some way unclean, or dirty, or even evil.
*SAYINGS OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD CONCERNING
HAVING SEX:
“When one of you have sex with your wife, it is a rewarded act of charity.” The Companions were surprised and said, “But we do it purely out of our desire. How can it be counted as charity?” The Prophet replied, “If you had done it with a forbidden woman, it would have been counted as a sin, but if you do it in legitimacy, it is counted as charity.”
2. “Let not one of you fall upon his wife like a beast falls. It is more appropriate to send a message before the act, so, his companions asked: what should the message be? He replied: the kiss, and the word.”
3. “Do not divulge the secrets of your sex life with your wife to another person nor describe her physical feature to anyone, as whoever does this, is like someone who is doing this act in public.”
4.”I get married, eat meat, stand up in night prayers, fast and break my fast. Whoever disdains from my traditions is not one of my followers”
5. O young men, whoever among you have the means to establish a marital life, he should get married. For marriage preserves the chastity of one’s eyes and sexual organs, and whoever cannot afford to get married; he must fast for abstention in that case will protect him from sin.”
6.”No solution is ever better for two people who are in love like marriage”.
From all the above-mentioned sayings of prophet Mohamed (PBUH), and taking in consideration that Allah stated him as “not saying anything out of his own will”, we can see a very bright picture of progressist Allah, opposing the general idea of the Allah being retarded and considering good manners.
*Prohibited SEXUAL ACTS between spouses:
In Allah, the right to adequate sexual relations is for everyone married person, since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment, like a garment that protects and covers, the sexual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs. The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband.
In Quran, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone.
*The Prohibition of Sex when wife is Menstruating (having her monthly course:
It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. The Allah is clear on this subject:
“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an “Atha” (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina)…” (2:222)
Among Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) statements about this issue are the followings:
- A man asked God messenger (PBUH): “O God messenger; what is it the legitimate for me of my wife while she is menstruating”? So God messenger replied: “let her be wrapped properly and consider her upper body”
- Aisha (prophet’s wife) said: “if ever one of us (prophet wives) menstruated, and the prophet wanted her as a sex partner, he used to tell her to be wrapped properly and used to approach her”.
- Abou Horaira narrated that while God messenger was in the mosque, he called Aisha (his wife) saying: “O Aisha; give me the dress” (in order to wear it for prayer), so she replied: “I am menstruating”, so he replied: “your menstruation is not in your hand”.
- Aisha narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) used to lie on her legs while she was menstruating and recite the Allah.
- Aisha said: “I used to drink while menstruating, then give the cup to the prophet, so he used to put his lips on the place of mine and drink”.
This is totally controverting the policy of the Jews towards the menstruating women, which represents a moral pain and hurt to the women, the God’s beloved creatures.
About this issue in particular, a lot of big Islamic knowers agreed that the only prohibited enjoyment with the menstruating women is vaginal penetration, otherwise is all allowed, to the extent that one of the biggest (Al Hakam ben Otaiba) mentioned that the man could even play with his penis on his wife’s vulva so long as he would not penetrate. Others preconditioned the capability of self-controlling of the man in order not to commit the sin of penetrating the menstruating woman. So if a man knows about himself the lack of self-control, either generally or especially concerning the sexual matter, he has then to avoid approaching his menstruating wife basically.
*The prohibition of the Anal Intercourse:
1- Al-Tirmithi narrated that Allah messenger said: “Allah Almighty will not look at the man who commits sodomy with a man or a woman”.
2- Malik related to me that he asked Ibn Shihab about someone who committed sodomy. Ibn Shihab said, “He is to be stoned, whether or not he is muhsan (protected by being married).”
So, the very clear conclusion is that it is forbidden for a Muslim man to penetrate his wife in her anus. Allah Almighty says in the Allah:
“…so keep away from menstruating women and do not approach them until they have purified themselves (the after-period shower), but when they have purified themselves, you may approach him as ordained for you by Allah, for Allah loves the repentants, and those who keep themselves pure and clean”(2:222)
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (2:223)
What is understood from the above verse is that a tilth can only refer to a place where something might grow. Therefore, what is meant here is the entry, which produces children.
*Other sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) on the subject:
1- Ibin Maja reported that prophet Muhammad said: “He is cursed who has anal intercourse (with his wife)”.
2- Al-Tirmithi reported that prophet Muhammad said: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or woman in her anus… has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad (PBUH).”
3- A man went to the prophet (PBUH) asking about approaching women from behind, so he said: “allowed”, and he re-explained saying: “from behind into before, and not from behind into behind”. And he added: “Allah is never ashamed of the right things, do not ever approach women into the anus”.
From the latterly-mentioned prophetic statement we can see that the variations in the sexual positions were as well there far more before the modern science stated them, the very clear example here is “the French style” (the doggy style), which is a largely preferred sex-mating position especially for men.
It cannot be stressed too strongly that even animals do not satisfy their sexual urges in this unnatural way. Human beings who are guilty of sodomy are, thus, even lower than animals.
Among the great blessings Allah gave to us, is the opportunity to make a pleasant thing, which gives us the double benefit, the joy of the present life as well as the reward of the other life; let us see together what I am talking about.
*And what about using viagra from Islamic point of view?
Sex to most Muslims is a dirty word, a word that they don't even want to talk about. On the other extreme, many Muslims' are obsessed with sex. This I can say from the questions about sex that I receive on E-mail from Muslims allover the world. The desire to have a better sexual performance for men is again, not a new preoccupation. Muslim Hakims (traditional physicians') have been working on medications for over one thousand years trying to achieve a magic love pill. Now that this "love pill" seemingly has arrived, wealthy Muslims' are ecstatic. Viagra, which is sold around $10 per pill in the U.S.A., was being sold at $100 per pill on the black market in other countries. The grand religious scholar of Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Baaz has allowed it to be used by men if it does not cause any harm to the body.
Sexual desire is a gift from God, just like all other desires that He has built in us. It is not our fault that we get aroused at sexual thoughts. These are built in physiology. In order to have a legitimate outlet for this built in desire, God has created mates for us.
Allah says, "He that created you mates from among yourselves that you can dwell in them in tranquility". (30:21)
And as we know, sex outside of marriage is not permitted in Islam.
Impotency is a disease and should be dealt with as any disease. To seek a cure for a disease is advised by Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) who said that "God has created no disease unless he created a cure for it as well, except old age". Thus, before we physicians' start a new treatment, we either must find out the cause for impotency, which could be vascular, neurogenic, infectious, diabetic, or due to hormonal deficiency. So, treating all the causes with one type of treatment would be wrong, and that is why many patients' on Viagra do not respond because they have not been screened properly to see if they would be good candidates. In addition, if the mental stimulation is not present before, then Viagra alone will not achieve the desired results, as the brain is the most important sex organ.
And as we know, sex outside of marriage is not permitted in Islam.
Impotency is a disease and should be dealt with as any disease. To seek a cure for a disease is advised by Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) who said that "God has created no disease unless he created a cure for it as well, except old age". Thus, before we physicians' start a new treatment, we either must find out the cause for impotency, which could be vascular, neurogenic, infectious, diabetic, or due to hormonal deficiency. So, treating all the causes with one type of treatment would be wrong, and that is why many patients' on Viagra do not respond because they have not been screened properly to see if they would be good candidates. In addition, if the mental stimulation is not present before, then Viagra alone will not achieve the desired results, as the brain is the most important sex organ.
The appropriate way for a man to deal with this is to see his physician for a thorough evaluation, hormone testing, and psychological as well as sexological testing. There is some suggestion that patient's who may have underlying coronary artery disease, who have not been actively involved in sex, should be screened first for coronary artery disease before using Viagra. About 20 men have died after sex while taking Viagra. It is not clear that any of these deaths were directly related to Viagra.
I see several social problems in the use of Viagra indiscriminately. It may lead to more sexual promiscuity and infidelity. A few years ago, an old man in New York who used Viagra, left his wife and then went for a much younger lady. His wife sued the company. This magic blue tablet is also being called "the party drug", or the "love pill", and it is being distributed by some of the nightclubs. What is the difference between getting high on marijuana and cocaine, or on Viagra? Many women are also complaining that they are being subject to Viagra attacks by their husbands and boyfriends even if they are not in a mood.
Sex is an expression and extension of love. In the absence of love, sex becomes a boring routine. Forced sex, even in marriage, is to be considered rape. Instead of trying to achieve potency, men should try to achieve love and respect for and from their wives. Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), who was ahead of his time, had encouraged foreplay before intercourse, saying "Do not attack your women like a wild beast, but send a message before". He also was known to have said, "Do not leave her before she is satisfied". Thus Islamic sexuality is based on nature and not attempting to achieve a quick result. The human body is a wonderful creation of God, but not a sex machine. It will not run better on any potency-inducing drug, except if ever it is medically indicated, but I assume that the wide-spread usage of viagra nowadays, even in young men who do not actually need it, is a part of the present facile-life adoring, and extreme luxury seeking without making any effort, or on making a minor effort, these youth are eventually consuming creatures and not productive ones, all these characters, being running in the same track. Finally men have to know that viagra does not create the desire, neither does it insert the pleasure, it just make sexual organs respond to such human feelings, having got to be there in the first place.
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